Strictly speaking, I am no Walrus. Aside from the obvious appearance, I literally cannot take the honor. If you've been raised in a Beatles household, you're probably getting me right now. If not, then let me make this educational session, (as) concise (as possible).
I've only known 4 famous Walruses in my lifetime. Well, technically, 3 since one is from the very famous marine mammal genus, Odobenus rosmarus. The other three that I (at least) know about are the following:
- The Walrus from "The Walrus and the Carpenter". Ring a bell? He was, according to the annoying twins (next to Upin and Ipin) Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the devious-scheming-cigar-smoking walrus who tricked a handful (more like, stomach-ful) of baby oysters to a little get-to-know-each-other luncheon. The same walrus who taught little kids (and adults on acid) never to trust strangers and to never eat more (oysters) than what your stomach can handle because it either concludes to a tear-jerking stomach ache or, plain and simply, "meal binge guilt"
- Jaime Hyneman. The smartest of all the walruses I know. You might well recognize him as the laconic guy with a mustache and a severe fascination for black berets on the Discovery Channel series, The Mythbusters. This walrus' biggest contribution to humanity is his undying determination to blow things up and impart to the world that man has really been to the moon. Tsk!
- And lastly, perhaps the most prominent of all walruses in human (and walrus) history, the only walrus who WAS also an "eggman". John Lennon. I cannot put into words his innumerable contributions to (my life and) humanity in general so... I'm not even gonna try.
Long live the Walrus!
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