like the stars

What's the one word you hate the most?

You might have read from my past entry that my favorite word of all time is "sparkle". I was being serious. I don't know why but there's an ounce of relief whenever I say it. Sparkle. Like the cheap soda or a seemingly familiar lyrics from one of Mariah Carey's songs. Sparkle, like the stars. That's it. Precisely like the stars.

On the other hand, the one word I dread the most is leukemia. Every facet of it! A loved one died of it a few years back and it's like suddenly, the whole dictionary was all about the disease. My aunt was 42. Two years of therapy, a few months of temporary relief, then, a relapse. She was so young, perky and selfless. I had to sleep with her at the hospital every weekend on my last year in high school, she looked stronger than she felt, seemed as if she wasn't afraid to die at all! That's wrong. Nobody, especially at her age, should be NOT afraid of dying. It's probably been about 4 years since she passed away. Sometimes, I forget that she's gone.

I've known a significant number of people battling leukemia, young, old, it's all the same, death and pain is postponable... but inevitable.

Yes, leukemia (or the mere mortality of the terminal human body) scares the big shit outta me, but I guess it takes ending our mortality for us to become Immortal.

Sparkle. Like the stars, where my aunt and grandfather are. Illuminating, guiding, immortal.

♫ No matter how far the view, I still always look up to you... ♫

The truth behind pleasing everybody...

... is that you can NEVER (in a billion years) please them at all! Humans have always had that basic tinge in their DNA to pull others down. I mean, if you can't beat them in an argument, might as well correct their grammar, right? The primal need to win has been in our system even at the very moment of conception because, you know, we're technically the glorious champions in the race for our mom's gametes. 

They say, life is a huge rat race and it's always up to the intensity of our cheats that'll pull us through, but for me, I guess I'll pass on the cheating and pleasing. Save myself from potential strain. If life truly is a race (of I don't know where to) then I guess I'll just have to enjoy the view, stop thinking about the finish line, take as many breather breaks as I can and finish the whole thing like the winner that I know I am. Life may be a race but it's not about losing or winning, it's about falling and rising again, sprinting and walking, breathing and gasping. Perhaps the only opponent we have here is time, so stop pleasing everybody, the more you do, the lesser time gets. 

So, I digress. The truth behind pleasing everybody is a lie. Yes, you can't please everybody, but if you insist, then at least please everybody who matters.

Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. ~ Dr. Seuss 

ALG

I literally do not know how he does it.

Swallowing every inch of his pride, apologizing for nothing in particular. Dancing like a bull fight clown during my mood swing intervals. He is literally my comfort. Not that I can't imagine living life without him, in fact, I think I can but because I chose him, I choose not to live without him. Everyday has been unique this past 5 years. Unique pet names, unique alter-ego names, and yes, unique petty fights.

He's my best friend, yes he is.

And I think, after my Mom, Dad and our pet cat, he scares me (the most). He scares me because I might not be able to level the sacrifices, inspirations, and the love that he has mustered for my taking in this relationship. His selflessness is close to sainthood.

I am not that strong. But if in time, placid turns to eery and chaos, I will be... for him... for me.

Swoon and Sigh

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back...

The subject of "love" has always been dubbed trivial. I think the theme of love in movies stopped being "finger-tingling" after Tuck Everlasting (though I secretly swooned on The Adjustment Bureau). All those predictable lines drastically make the whole theme of being in love very... trivial!

Just last week, my boyfriend and I watched Breaking Dawn (or the installment where Bella was disgustingly skinnier than that guy on Stephen King's "Thinner"). *Warning: Serious rants ahead* You cannot imagine the intensity of my eye rolls during the whole flick, I mean, if the movie was about 4-hours long, I'd probably be cross-eyed right now! Every.Line.Was.Predictably.Unoriginal!!! All the "I cannot live without you" shit made me want to barf my intestines out! Geez! How can he not live without her when in fact HE'S BEEN IMMORTAL FOR 100-SOMETHING YEARS! Fvcking stupid! God! Phineas and Ferb had more original themes than the whole Saga!

But really, my point here is "love being trivial", common, copied. At least in movies...

And thus, here, I will be listing my favorite Romance movies of all times (excluding those mentioned earlier EXCEPT Breaking Eclipse whatever!). Originality, swoons and sighs, the whole shebang! 

1. Casablanca will always be number 1. Though it featured a tad bit of oblivious adultery but still, it spoke of love being selfless and coincidental.
2. The Sound of Music was just perfect! "Somewhere in my miserable childhood and youth, I must have done something good..." Seeing the film at the age of 4, Christopher Plummer (Capt. Von Trapp) was practically my very first crush. Made me want to be a nun back then... and I do not know why.
3. My Best Friend's Wedding. Talk about unrequited (more like, delusional) love. 
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was OH.MY... what was I talking about again? Literally heart-wrenching... than...
5. The Notebook, of course... because I too am a girl!
6. Moulin Rouge is also worth the acknowledgement. Heck, even...
7. Phantom of the Opera. And I'd definitely go for the phantom!
8. Leap Year was rather infatuation-esque but still.
9. I've been a fan of Studio Ghibli since 2 months ago and I have to say, Howl's Moving Castle was eccentrically romantic.
10. Love Actually, though not generally my type, had a sub-theme on language barrier-ed attraction (Collin Firth and the cottage/house keeper), it was perhaps the only parts of the film that I genuinely liked.
11. Troy (Briseis and Achilles), because you know what they say, the more you hate the more you love.
12. A few Asian films are also worth noting... I had 3 in mind but I can only remember the one where this recently dumped girl met a carpenter/construction worker, eventually fell in love, married, and then it turned out that the girl had a long-term memory problem, ended up pissing on her shorts, and calling her husband by her ex-boyfriend's name... That one! The other two are (nope, NOT My Sassy Girl or Windstruck) set in ancient China.
13. I had to watch The Fountain at least twice to finally realize that unrequited love is better than love in death. 

If you were wondering why I did not place Pretty Woman or the Seven Year Itch here, it's probably because I've yet to see them.  And yes! Though Gone With The Wind would have been a very notable addition to my list (I've seen it, yes!), I did not quite had the hang of the whole story. I'd definitely watch it again soon... especially now that I have all the time in the world... yes, that's exactly how long the movie is.

Have to go! Enhanted is on Disney Channel!

Imagine: Zombie apocalypse

We all have wild and crazy ideas, I mean, imagine a world without 'em? Mediocre, right? A world without Tolkien's Middle Earth or Lewis' Narnia. Imagine a world without Rice's seductively captivating Lestat or Martin's incestuous twin Lannister siblings. The world's greatest masterpieces were initially deemed insane, crazy, and maybe even blasphemous, but in commonality, they've all made this mediocre of a planet far more interesting. 

Imagine. That's perhaps my second favorite word in the dictionary (next to "sparkle", all the rest of my favorite words are in the Urban Dictionary. *sneer). My mind (and I hope yours too) feeds on imagination. The frequently common one being "Mom's broccoli beef steak" for dinner. Imagination sets our minds to worlds that are deemed, well, figments of our very own imaginations. 

Dragons, edible unicorn excrement, hookah smoking caterpillars and (heck!) even being lap-teased by a three-tit pleasure android, all our imagination are pointed to the same direction... erection. Hah! Not that kind, you insufferable green-minded monkey! Erection, that sudden surge of excitement not only on the human erogenous zones but ALSO on those neurotransmitters in the brain which indeed plays a major role in basic human... imagination. Anything that "stiffens" or "stands" on any known and unknown stimuli is technically called an erection. Imagine being in a cemetery at 3 in the morning (that's 3am!) when a sudden gust of breeze passes making those mockingly frightful mango leaves rustle and sway. In that exact moment, the almost-bogus hair on the nape of your neck would then start to "erect", why? Precisely because you were imagining freaky shenanigans like waking corpses or the eventual whispers of ghosts in desperate need of your mortal help.

Imagination is what sets us apart from... Stephanie Meyer. Joke! Really, I'm straying away from my main point here, so, here goes...

Zombie pandemic apocalypse. Every sadists' dream come true, being able to bash their undead calculus teachers' head until every bit of brain matter comes splashing on their faces! Yeap! How very exciting! But really, when everything isn't just for the cause of a blockbuster hit or a team-rpg survival game, HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!?

George Romero would probably advise us to"go hide on your roof" or "lock yourselves in the nearest town grocery", but guess what, George?! None (or maybe just one or 2) of those who heeded your advise ever survived!

In the light of the prominent "The Walking Dead" series, it's best to also stay indoors or in a gregariously easily governed group. Travel by armored vehicles (Resident Evil) and shoplift every armory for weapons. Yes, yes, the very idea works, but in groups of random strangers sticking out for each other's survival, zombies are probably the lesser concern. You see, while zombies only want to eat your flesh and fatty brains out, the surviving humans want so much more. Food, your best fiend's wife and son, the pastor's daughter, fuel, a melee... The list just goes on!

So, in culmination, NO ONE SURVIVES a zombie apocalypse, not unless your name is Shaun or you have heterochromia. No One! Not even big B.M. himself... Bill Murray. 

But hey! No one practically wants to die a boring death, eh? So here, here is my (and friends') "Idiot's guide to Zombie Apocalypse Survival":

1. Leave your homes and make haste for the the nearest wholesale grocery stores. And with that:
1. Find a working automobile
2. Drive like a crazy ass drunk... no wait...
3. Weaponize your working automobile... then drive like a crazy ass drunk divorcee on his way to the nearest gun shop
2. If grocery stores don't tick, go to the nearest gun shop.
3. Get a boat and travel to an isolated island where the fishes, birds, livestock and all possible human digestive consumption are also feeding on dead and infected zombie decays... or you can always horde all you can and then... get on a boat...blah!
4. I guess bathing on zombie organs would get you through your average daily brisk walk in the park... good luck on the barfing part though... and rain.
5. Rooftops! Yes. But NEVER forget food!
6. Cross out Angelina as your best friend and replace her with a baseball bat... melee!
7. Mind your own weapon of choice! Grandfather's 47-year old machete is mine... slash!
8. An infection-free locality is not possible, unless you're in... Disneyland! *shrug
9. When bitten, you'd know what to do... or you can always wait for Juan Pedro to blow your brains out eventually!
10. sv_cheats1 always works! Always!

All in all, the only way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to... survive. And hey! Zombies are physically decaying by the minute, but if you have all the time and energy, you can waste them on hording, killing and migrating, and if not, there's always... I don't... really know.

But then again, I guess it's a relief that all these morbid mayhem are all  imagination, right? 

*silence

Right?

*slight shrug

RIGHT?????

*jeng jeng jeeeeeeng!

Good Friday

“And when we retire, we can write the Gospels so they’ll still talk about us when we die..”

Everyone has practically memorized the whole plot, Jesus’ passion. Growing up, our usual Lenten Sunday school session would always point out the excruciating pain our Savior had to go through for the salvation of the very people who condemned him of divine fraud. I mean, His mortality cannot be denied, but His divinity has been the subject of debate some two millennia after His resurrection. 

I asked my 9-year old niece once, on who she thought killed Jesus Christ. Her answer might have probably been the same as mine when I was her age, “Jesus was killed by the bad people.” Of course He was. 

Politics had always been the name game even during Christ’s time. It was sheer politics who saw Him as a threat, a radical who could very well change the system of corruption and mass hysteria. Jesus Christ was a man, but it was His bravery, commitment, charity and selflessness that made Him divine. Yes, He was the Son of God, I mean, aren’t we all? But of all God’s children, it was Jesus who was chosen and it was He who accepted a life stripped off of convenience and peace. His courage and sacrifice made Him divine. A once nameless carpenter, who has chosen to live a life of scrutiny by not asking for anything in return.

Jesus Christ was human, yes he was, but holy and divine? You tell me…

A man who was eager to die for the salvation of the very people who placed Him on the cross, THAT is not human. That’s not even animal instinct. If you’ve figured out what it is, then let me know.

I am NOT a blind follower, but if you have something against my Christ… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever understand such mentality because if “not believing in Him” has brought you good, then BELIEVING in Him has brought me so much better.

All in all, whether He be a man or the Son of God or even God Himself, Jesus Christ was indeed a Savior to a faithful few and to a million oblivious others. He truly was a King, the only King who sacrificed Himself so that we may all be directed to the path of eternal bliss in His Kingdom.

spell: Hiatus

I hate it when melancholy attacks! Especially in the Summer! That sudden urge to cry for no apparent canny reason. I guess this is the summer I tried my hardest to avoid when I was in school. You see, I have always been the queen of irony. School, for example, I have always hated it! The whole shebang of waking up early, doing research and homework after dinner, sleep early and restart the whole routine after some 8 hour snooze! But every summer (especially now!) I would always miss school. Not the whole routine but I guess those little side perks that came with it. 

I don’t know how this summer would turn out, but by the old gods and the new, I WILL ENJOY IT!

Sorry for the frantic hiatus (assuming I had fervent readers here. Haha). It’s just that my inspiration has been out of my control these days. Don’t ask why… I couldn’t even find the right words to explain it myself.