A Cebuano's guide to earthquake relief and tsunami mass hysteria

Note: I AM a PROUD Cebuana. The following entry is meant to humor. If you can't take the sarcasm then I suggest you look up for its meaning in the dictionary. Enjoy. :)

It's all over the news. Cebu City gets hit by a 6.8 magnitude earthquake. The epicenter being somewhere in the seas of Negros (Tayasan). Just a few hours after the unprecedented phenomenon, the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (PhilVolcS) issued a tsunami warning on the western parts of the region. Thus, Western towns of Cebu island (Cebu City being on the East side) were to be prepared for an impending (though minor) tidal action on its coast lines. 

How do I describe this... hmmmm. Ok. So basic Philippine geography teaches us that Philippines is an archipelagic country. Thus, islands and islets are scattered forming the legally collective republic. Major islands are Mindanao and Luzon (respectively), Visayas being the "very archipelagic " region. Cebu and   Tayasan   are in Visayas.   Tayasan   just West from Cebu Island. Cebu City being very much East from  Tayasan  (since Cebu City is also on the Eastern part of Cebu island). And so, the funniest part of the day was the mass hysteria and panic of Cebu City's general population. People downtown running to the higher elevated barangays to avoid the impending "deluge". Pfft!  Really? This just goes to show that (at least) most (or some) of us are not at all familiar with our basic geography.

So here are eight of my personal Cebuano guide to utter mass hysteria. Because, you know what they say, if you can't beat the senses out of them, you might as well join them:

1. Give us about a minute to fully accept the fact that "Oh my Gandalf! THAT really was an earthquake!"
2. Grab your MOST valued possession (meaning, your 4-feet high fridge, your multi-breed askal dog, your whole wardrobe closet, your CPU and monitor, and yes, you can even carry that 2-week old third-hand bike if you want to) and run for safety
3. When at home, DO NOT listen to the radio or watch the news. INSTEAD! Spread that utterly hilarious text message that the downtown area is already on waist-high sea waters due to the tsunami attack! Holy mother of Midi-chlorians! *face palm until black and blue
4. Run for the mountains. YES! Run and be hasty because of the Tsunami WARNING!!! I REPEAT! TSUNAMI W-A-R-N-I-N-G!
5. Because the tsunami is predicted to start in  G Tayasan   (just across the Western side of Cebu island), PANIC especially when you're in Cebu City (Eastern part of Cebu island).
6. Be relieved and confident that an impending tsunami is in fact, impossible... one hour after PhilVolcS cancelled the tsunami warning.
7. Aftershocks are normal. Yeap, norma--- "Oh my Gandaalf!!! We're dooooooooooooomed!!!"
8. Pray (and NO, I'm not being sarcastic) because I know Prayers can save. Always!

In culmination, the whole ruckos might have leveled-up our general sense of panic and the automatic run for safety, but Cebuanos also proved to be masters of another thing during the whole event, Faith. One that is unshaken by even the strongest of tremors. Stronger Faith, renewed Faith and new Faith. 

The death toll of the quake has reached 43. If our Faith has never failed us before then I'm sure it will NOT fail us now. God NEVER fails. Pray for Cebu. PRAY especially for Negros. God Bless and Good Night.