Everything I need to know, I learned from Alien (1979)

I have always been a fan of sci-fi movies. I mean, I practically breathe Star Wars everyday like some reefer bong at 4:20 in the afternoon. And though monster aliens are perhaps my least favorite genre in the sci-fi spectrum, I guess these types of flicks impart the most important morals in life. Yep! Monster alien movies because where else can you find the most important tips of survival other than movies showcasing a wide variety of squeals, bloodbath and (excruciatingly) adorable 120-toothed-double-mouthed-20-inched-forehead-monster from the outer rims of Zeta Reticuli?

Having seen Ridley Scott’s first installment of Alien (1979) again (after about 12 years, on HD 1080-fuuureakin-pixels!) was in a sense, intriguing. Imagine, a creature, the purest being, with no conscience and remorse, as a tool for human warfare/protection and security. Makes you think really, these guys COULD be useful, except for the fact that their blood is 100% acidic and lethal and yes, they host on the human esophagus to fertilize a 20-inch silver-toothed-worm by a slimy spider-like creature sticking on your face for 24 hours! Scott (next to Lucas, of course) definitely is a genius having made a film like that (some) 30 years ago.

Everything I need to know, I learned from Alien (1979):

When someone says “Let’s get out of here” and you’re on an eerily strange alien planet with no signs of (benevolent) life, DO IT! FAST! Stalling around and checking every piece of slimy little egg is probably the most stupid thing ever! Unless you’re planning to do a sequel…

Alien planet “Faberge eggs” open, exposing a freakishly slimy bald head… the last thing you should do is stick your head right in front of it! I mean, really?! Common sense! 

Freaky spider-creature (“Face Hugger”) sticking onto your friend’s face is not in any way cool! Especially when the same creature deliberately detaches itself some 24 hours after it practically smooched someone’s face to death! 

When a loud and ugly silver-toothed-20-inch worm (“Chestburster”) literally purges out of someone’s chest, KILL IT! In a fvcking instant! Never mind its teeth or size, the fvcking thing just tore someone else’s chest open, the least you could do is marvel at its malevolent birth!

Cats are cute but I really don’t think living on a 500 megaton metal ore refinery space ship (and being several light years away from Earth) is their thing. Why on Earth would a space crew ship want to bring a feline on one of their missions?

“Mother! You Bitch!” Though it originally is “Mother! Turn the cooling unit back on! Mother!...You Bitch!” but I guess you get my point. Sometimes, they can be… Bigtime!